Over this past month, I have transitioned into the world of
finding an equilibrium between mom brain and medicine brain. I have struggled with my self-doubts and
guilt of wondering how might I find a healthy equilibrium between being the best
“Leo’s mama” I can be, and fulfill my dream of becoming a bright, committed family
physician. My one-year of maternity
leave with the mighty, 10-month old Leonardo Robert, has taught me a whole new
level of adaptability, perseverance, compassion, love, and understanding, all
of which I attribute as assets in my daily practice as a student doctor. Perseverance and love have given me the strength
to continue on in this transition of weaning from a 100% selfless,
vulnerability as a “stay at home mom,” back into the compassionate, committed future
physician that I have strived to become over these past 6 years of medical
school training.
On July 3, I said “see-you-later” to my son and partner,
Ernesto, at our home in Cuba, so that I may return to San Francisco for a
1-month internal medicine clerkship at St. Luke’s Hospital. My brain has been “jump-started” back into
the mind-set of using evidence-based, clinical medicine, guided by my heart that
is full of an unconditional love and compassion that could only be formed by my
experience as Leo’s mama. Of course, my
brain has needed a little bit more massaging in order to get back on the level
and pace of thinking like a physician, but I will always be humbled by my experience as being a full-time mama during my time off from
medical school. During these past three
weeks, I have been reassured that I still have the capacity to function in a
U.S. clinical setting, yet with a whole new understanding of the compassion necessary
to cure sometimes and care all of the time, as a physician.
In a couple of weeks, I will travel back to
Cuba, prepared to persevere through my 6th, and final, year of
medical school, looking forward to July 2016 in which I may officially change
my title to Sarah Janelle Hernandez, M.D.
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